Welcome to alt.religion.mormon
a.r.m. MicroFAQ ver 1.0
Contents
Purpose
This is the alt.religion.mormon MicroFAQ.
If you (yes, you) are new here, please spend four minutes and read this
document. If you're not new to a.r.m, read it anyway -- your comments are
needed to improve it.
Version 1.0 contains changes suggested by readers after Version 0.4
was posted (thank you).
This doucment name starts with Micro
because it's small, which is why you only need four minutes to read it.
It's called a FAQ
because it's about Frequently Asked
Questions" or "Questions Everyone Wishes Were
Asked Less Frequently".
Don't Stop Yet.
If you think you know all about FAQs, but still are new to this
newsgroup, your four minutes aren't up: continue reading, please. For my
convenience, I'm going to refer to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints (and its related siblings) as "the Church". I'll also call those
who generally favor the beliefs of the Church as pro-mormon and those who
generally do not favorthose beliefs as con-mormon.
A Brief History of Alt.Religion.Mormon
a.r.m was intended as a relief valve to siphon seemingly endless discussion
and traffic away from soc.religion.christian and talk.religion.christian.
a.r.m appears to have been created separately, and simultaneously, by both
a con-mormon and a pro-mormon.
a.r.m is not a place just for pro-mormons to have warm, fuzzy discussions
with other members. a.r.m is not a place just for con-mormons to slam beliefs
of pro-mormons. It _is_ a place to discuss issues and concepts that people
on both sides hold dear. This may lead to arguments, but that should not
be the intention, merely the result of poorly controlled reactions.
Important Laws, a Corollary, a Theorem and a Constant
Lee's Two
Laws of Posting:
-
If you haven't read this newsgroup for at least 2 weeks,
do not post anything.
-
If you don't understand the reason for the first law, make
it at least a month.
Bowie's Corollary:
2a. Make it a month, anyway.
Woods' Theory of Wisdom:
A wise poster does not start a new topic until s/he has contributed
something _of value_ to an existing topic.
Bowie's Inequality Constant:
-
Utah != Mormon
-
(Utah is not equal to Mormon)
The Assumption of Peculiarity, and the Problems
Thereof
Someone else started that rumor, wrote that book or pamphlet, created
the show or video. And someone else heard, read or watched the same thing
and posted your exact "unique" knowledge a long, long time ago.
If you choose to post an expose of everyone else's stupidity, you may:
 |
be ignored |
|
be flamed to zwieback |
|
wind up in a hundred kill files overnight |
|
prove yourself to be a clueless newbie to thousands, or |
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any combination of the above. |
On the other hand, if you've just returned from some dark, dank Mesoamerican
jungle with a stone carving of a sign that says "Zarahemla, Next 2 Exits",
then post away. If you have just returned from some dark, dusty attic and
have a letter written by Joseph Smith to Geraldo proposing a show on "How
to Make Big Bucks by Starting Your Own Religion", then we'd all love to
read that, too.
Oh, but if you don't mind, provide some references; it really helps.
(I've already bought two of those darn Zarahemla signs, and they
both turned out to be fakes).
Please note I said "some" references, not "all." You may have an extensive
library of rare books, a marvelous CD set, and a web search engine, but
extracting pages and pages of quotes from any or all of the above has not
been shown to persuade anybody to join your cause; more likely they junk
your post. In general, if the number of words of reference material (including
the Scriptures) exceeds the number of words you provide to advance your
point of view, then you are likely to be ignored as a blowhard. Heck, most
of the readers of a.r.m can do a word search as well as you, so save yourself
the effort.
Is Trolling Encouraged on Lake a.r.m?
In a word, no. Trolls should be posted to alt.under.bridges, not here.
The most frequent form of trolling on a.r.m is for someone to post a blanket
statement like "M0RM4NZ 5UCK!", and reel in the naive who reply. A slightly
different form is to post a question like "Do Mormons believe in the same
gospel as the Bible?" When someone replies with a great deal of sincerity
(optional), the original poster pounces and says "No, you don't. Read Galatians
1:8!" (I see a few disappointed faces out there, who were just getting
ready to write that post). It's not that you don't have a point to make,
it's that asking a question to which you will not accept any answer other
than your own is disingenuous.
Pro-mormons in the audience should not feel smug. Trolls come from both
sides, often with equal amounts of fervor and sincerity. The standard one
is "Why are all you Anti-Mormons posting to our chat area? We are persecuted,
blah, blah, blah, so you back-stabbers just go away." If you wonder what's
wrong with this statement, you are hereby penalized 2 minutes for skimming,
and you have to go back to the top and start over.
What about Flames?
Flames usually only waste bandwidth and emotion, and accomplish nothing.
However, a mutant sub-variant of flames has shown signs of flourishing
on a.r.m: humorous spelling flames. Catch someone posting "in the ear that
I was born", and you can proceed to toast away. Normal standards of taste
and decorum apply, but it's legit.
Who Are the People in This Neighborhood?
There are over 500 posters who participate in these discussions, along
with an unseen army of lurkers who read but do not post on a regular basis.
By and large, we're sincere people with varying degrees of earnestness
and humor (read carefully, that's a cautionary note). We have achieved
a partially successful stability that keeps the casualties to an acceptable
minimum.
You (yes, still you) can help by avoiding the mistakes of the misguided.
This helps you avoid being flamed, and improves the general appearance
of the neighborhood.
Posting Styles to Avoid
| Mindless Post |
Mindless Reply |
| Mormons aren't Christian |
Yes, we are |
| Trinitarians aren't Christian |
Mormons are polytheistic |
| You worship a different Jesus |
No, we don't |
| The Godhead is... (whatever I say it is) |
Everyone can see you're wrong |
| Blacks and the Priesthood |
God said so! |
| You need Priesthood Authority |
The Bible is my authority |
| Women can't have the Priesthood |
Men can't have babies |
| Mormons don't believe the Bible |
It's full of mistranslations |
| Baptists don't understand the Bible |
At least we read it |
| (Anything) ...about polygamy |
There were too many women |
| Read it and pray about it. |
I did, and your answer is wrong |
| The BoA papyrus is a funereal text |
The papyri were lost |
| Anti-mormons must leave a.r.m |
You leave if you can't take it |
| BoM talks about horses |
Maybe JS meant llamas |
| BoM took place in <location> |
Show me archeological proof |
| BoM has been changed 1K - 4K times |
Changed, yes, but not that many |
| Revelation 22:18 |
Deuteronomy 4:2 |
| Deuteronomy 13:1-5 |
2 Kings 20:1-6 |
Get the idea?
Both the posts and the replies are bold statements, have more emotional
content than reasoned thought, are dead wrong, or any combination of the
above. These type of posts tend to clog up the arteries of a.r.m, and make
life unpleasant for everyone. Broad generalizations, bigoted allegations,
and naked assertions just are not effective on, or interesting to, people
other than yourself.
Miss the Point?
For anyone who read the above as some restriction on posting articles
which examine the _topics_ mentioned above, you missed the point. First,
this is a.r.m: there are no "restrictions," everyone has the agency to
post what s/he will. Second, those statements above were not topics, but
rather the complete and entire texts of posts or replies to be avoided
for the benefit of all. If you don't think there is benefit to the community
that is a.r.m by avoiding mindless one-line accusations and equally mindless
one-line refutations, then go back to Lee's
Laws and quadruple the time frames.
Required Equipment
The two most important things you need before you jump into the thick
of the fray are:
If you can't get a grip, and don't have a clue, please just lurk.
Oh, and a thick skin would be a good idea, too.
Other Important References
Official FAQ: http://www.columbia.edu/~ylee/a.r.m.faq
This Document: http://www.olsonhome.com/srm/microfaq.html
Manners: http://www.olsonhom.com/srm/microfaq.html
Newgroups:
Moderate(d) Mormon Discussion: soc.religion.mormon
A Newsgroup Dedicated to New Users: news.announce.newusers
(if you don't know why new users should subscribe to n.a.n, then
you really should)
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